As a writer, I have a vested interest in words. In what they mean, in how they are used, in how they are interpreted, because words are potent and powerful tools that, when used (either rightly or wrongly) can resonate so deeply, it goes down to the bone. So when I find music that does that and then some, I tend to get a little obsessed and listen to that music over and over again. Though, in this day and age, that listening is apt to be connected to watching, in which case, I turn to youtube.
Recently, Wendy and I have been mulling over Sia and her marvelous vids Chandelier and Elastic Heart, and I hope to post about those another day. But our conversation got me thinking about how much I do get into a song or a vid, especially when it connects to a story I’m working on. Come to think of it, there hasn’t been a story in the last ten years that doesn’t have a song, and more likely an Original Sound Track, attached to it. And when I listen to the OST, I’m transported both to the story, and the writing of it.
Currently I’m working on book #3 in the Oliver & Jack series, which is tentatively called Axminster. In it, as usual, bad things happen to my characters, but good things happen as well, as in this case, Oliver and Jack fall more deeply in love.
If you are aware at all of the trouble I had getting to this point, then you can appreciate the fact that it took Oliver all the way to the end of book #2 to say “I love you” to Jack. Then, in book #3, that love is put to the test–no, I must be correct in this. That love is tortured and denied and squelched so hard, it can hardly crawl. But crawl it does, and at the end of book #3, I give the lads a bit of a respite, after which I will naturally plunge them back into some hellish situation.
In the meantime, I like to think of them in love. I like to ruminate over their affection for each other and reflect on how they might express it. Certainly Jack does it with words, and Oliver tends not to speak about it as much as demonstrate it through his actions. Which sometimes put him in an untenable situation, which can make Jack quite peeved with him.
Amidst all of this thinking stuff, I kind of get the feeling that I’ve connected with my characters, quite viscerally, as if they were alive and talking to me, and I quite, quite truly believe that in an alternate universe that they exist.
And that since they do, they have love songs for each other. Jack’s love song to Oliver was quite easy, as I think he would select Hozier’s “Take Me to Church”, only he would use the version that shows Sergei Polunin dancing a ballet in a rough, unfinished, white-painted church. The lyrics can be interpreted a hundred different ways, but for me, they represent Jack’s irreverence for the world with all its rules and judgement, and his absolute love for Oliver Twist. (Plus, Mr. Polunin is dark and rangy, and reminds me of Jack, except for the tattoos, which, as Oliver can tell you, Jack does not have. That is, he would have, but he’s afraid of needles.)
Oliver’s love song to Jack is a rather recent find. There are two versions of it, by a marvelous singer, Gabrielle Aplin, and the song is called “Salvation.” I like the version that shows lyrics and stop-and-go animation, on account of the images of a rough, dark sea, and the dots of white stars. I think Oliver expresses his love for Jack in this song, in that Jack simply undoes Oliver’s entire world, and while Oliver is aware that his world is changing, he is unable to resist Jack, as he is swept away and saved at the same time. My joy would be complete if Sergei Polunin would dance the ballet to this song as well.
So what I mean to say (and it always takes me longer than I think that it will) is that sometimes words mean so much, I can hardly express the feelings they inspire. And sometimes, words mean so much, that only a song (in this case, a youtube video) can express the depths of them.